What takes women so long in the restroom....

The answer to that question has puzzled me just like it has men around the world since restrooms were first installed into homes, places of business or anywhere for that matter
I learnt from a general trivia show just last night that in Victorian times there were no public female restrooms as it was considered "unclean" for a woman to go relieve herself outside the house, imagine that nowadays lol no cue of husbands/boyfriends waiting for there other half to finally emerge form the cinema restroom after what feels like 7 maybe 8 hours.......god i always hate it having to try and look busy and doing some window shopping to try and not look like some peeping tom after a glimpse of Narnia when the door opens

"Not like i enjoy my time in there"......................one of he biggest lies women tell if you ask me, no wonder they have suitcases for handbags, how else would they be able to take board games a selection of novels and such to entertain themselves as they develop roots on the toilet

Middle aged man rant over i can get back tot he subject of today's post (Hopefully the first of two today if i get the time)

A few Wednesdays back S and a few girls from her old place of work (my current place of work for those who don't know) decided to have a send off night out in town, nothing out of the ordinary there as women like that sort of thing for some reason, one last chance to get catty and bitchy behind one another's back i imagine
But alas this meant that with S on a jolly i had father duties to take care of which is actually a rather nice change, i do enjoy putting the younger ones to bed and all that goes along with it even if i am bloody certain i would hate it if i HAD to do it most nights like S does at times

7.30 S got picked up by one of the other girls going out that night and i got a kiss goodbye as she wiggled her hips towards her friends car, I'm pretty sure her friend thought i was making sure she got to the car okay as it was dark but im sure S knew i just wanted to see some shapely bottom wiggle its way down the driveway lol

Everything was going fine, the kids who should of been in bed were in bed while the eldest was playing some video game that required you to stab people? that's all i took away from it personally, and i was watching bike racing i had recorded with a pizza box on my lap. Ahhh bliss i don't think this parenting thing is as hard as people make out or that i was worried about when S found out she was pregnant with our first.......throughout the night i had got 2 or 3 messages from her saying she got there safe and another telling me the restaurant didn't have any record of there reservation so they had a MacDonald's in the back of a taxi while travelling to another bar (Classy as hell i hope you'll agree lol)

The next text i saw beep up on my phone was a slightly different subject though, turns out S felt the need to tell me she had just made some teenage uni students night by taking him into the ladies and (her words not mine) "not coming up for air till his legs went weak"
Does she know who he is? nope
Does she know where hers from other then the city of Nottingham? nope
Does she know his last name? nope

I really could go on and on about the details she failed to ask or just didn't listen to him telling to her

"he had blonde trimmed hair on his crotch and adored his balls in my mouth if that's any help to you hunni?......................oh and he didn't have a foreskin"

I was pacing up and down the living room with excitement when S said she was on her way home, hoping nay praying for gory details but alas she got in and fell asleep on the sofa with a slice of cold pizza in her hand :(

I carried her to bed as carefully as i could and let her sleep, fishing around for details later on that day when she finally emerged from our room she couldn't remember anything graphic or massively beneficial

Late teens, slightly geeky and nervous with women, uni student and was as grateful for her time as she thought was humanly possible

all in all i guess she got what she wanted and he got what he thought was out of his league

C